


Bombarded Writing Prompts

by schwartz1e



Category: BomBARDed (Podcast)
Genre: will add more characters as i write more!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-05-29 21:24:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 16,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15082028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schwartz1e/pseuds/schwartz1e
Summary: Just a place to keep some short fics that I do from writing prompts! If you have anything you’d like me to write, visit me over on tumblr@fully-realized-creation





	1. Prank War, Mvt. I

**Author's Note:**

> AB: Splash with “Where is my f*cking pudding?”
> 
> Rose: "Yes, I understand that its cool, but why does your toaster have wings?” “Well its alive of course. It flies.” With Ra’zul and Randy, respectively
> 
> Put em together and what do u get? The start of a prank war.

“Where is my pudding?!” Symbol yelled, slamming the fridge door shut. From the couch, Mitch made a noncommital noise, too absorbed in his book to respond to his boyfriend’s distress. Symbol moved to the nearby cabinet and opened the door, like his pudding was suddenly going to reappear in the two seconds since he had last checked. 

“I had like...ten unopened six packs in here just last night,” he said in disbelief. “Have I started sleep eating?” He turned to Mitch. “Mitch, am I sleep eating?”

“No, dear, you aren’t sleep eating,” Mitch mumbled, turning a page in his book. Symbol frowned and shut the cabinet.

“How would you know? You’d be asleep, too,” he said. Symbol crossed his arms and leaned against the cabinet with a huff. “Well, then where did all my pudding go? It can’t just get up and walk out on its own!” Mitch hummed, clearly not listening. Symbol’s frown deepened. He straightened up and walked into the living room and toward Mitch. When he got to the couch, he turned and dramatically flopped down onto his boyfriend’s lap, Mitch having moved his book in a well-practice maneuver. Symbol sighed loudly.

“I’m not going to survive, Mitch,” he said, draping a hand over his eyes. “I’m going to wither away here. Right here. In front of your very eyes. How does that make you feel, Mitch? Do you even care at all?” Mitch couldn’t help but smile a little at Symbol’s over dramatic antics. He finally closed his book and began running his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair. Symbol made a distressed noise as his perfectly coiffed locks were mussed, but then relaxed into the gesture.

“You and I both know that there’s a perfectly logical explanation for this,” he said. “Pudding doesn’t just disappear. Now, who do we both know that likes to hide, and sneak around, and screw with the people he cares about?” Symbol moved his hand and squinted up at Mitch.

“Uh...me?” he said. Mitch laughed.

“Okay, besides you.” Symbol looked up at the ceiling, thinking. Then, he shot up, almost headbutting Mitch in the nose.

“I’ll be right back!” he said, standing up and running to the door, pulling his shoes on. He flung their front door open, then paused and ran back to the couch. He bent down and gave Mitch a kiss, and then ran out the door, pulling it closed behind him.

The faculty and staff housing was near enough to the student dorms, so Symbol made it there in just a few minutes. He knew exactly which building he needed to go to, and made it to the bassoon dorm in record time. 

When he opened the door to the common room, he saw Raz’ul and Yashee sitting on the couch doing homework and right next to them was Randy, sitting on a throne made of pudding cups and happily eating from one, staring at the door as though he was waiting for it to open all along. Raz’ul and Yashee looked up at him, and then at the clock hanging on the wall above Randy.

“Wow, three whole hours,” Raz’ul said. “That took a lot longer than I thought it would.” He and Yashee dug around in their pockets and pulled out a few gold pieces. They tossed them toward Randy, who caught them and pocketed them before turning back to Symbol, with a shit-eating grin on his face. He took a pudding cup from the top of the throne and held it out to his teacher.

“Want one?” he said. Symbol narrowed his eyes and snatched the cup out of Randy’s hand. He pointed a stern finger at the halfling.

“You’re bringing all of this back. I’m not helping,” he said. Randy laughed.

“Part of the bet was that the losers had to bring it all back,” he said. “So you’ll be seeing Raz’ul and Yashee later.” Symbol shook his head and made to leave, but then a thought popped into his head and he stopped. Turning back to Randy, he waved his hand, as though he was waving goodbye, and cast a small, subtle Prestidigitation on the half-eaten pudding cup in Randy’s hand.

“I hope this was worth it,” Symbol said, and then turned and left as Randy took another bite of pudding. As the door closed, he heard Randy gag.

“Ugh!! Key lime?! This tasted like chocolate a second ago!”

\-------

Raz’ul stared at the...thing sitting on their coffee table, confused. Randy was standing next to him with his hands on his hips and his chest puffed out.

“Cool, right?” Randy said. Raz’ul nodded slowly and reluctantly.

“Yes,” he said, “I understand that it’s cool, but...why does your toaster have wings?”

“Well, it’s alive of course. It flies.” Raz’ul looked at him.

“...Flies,” he said in disbelief. Randy nodded. “Randy, toasters don’t fly.”

“Well, normal ones don’t,” Randy said, almost exasperated. “But this one definitely does! I was walking back from the cafetorium and I saw it flying through the trees next to me! I climbed up and grabbed it and brought it back here to show you and Yashee.” Raz’ul nodded slowly again.

“Uh huh,” he said. “And, uh, why isn’t it flying now?”

“It’s probably scared.” Randy gently took the toaster in his arms and sat down on their couch, holding it as though he was holding a cat. “There, there, little toaster buddy. The mean dwarf won’t hurt you.” Raz’ul frowned. Randy wasn’t a dumb guy. He couldn’t seriously believe that this toaster was alive and could fly. 

“Hey, uh, Randy, could I maybe hold the toaster for a little bit? Maybe it just needs to...get used to me. And then it’ll fly,” he said. Randy looked a little skeptical for a second, but then nodded. He patted the toaster on the, uh...front part? And then carefully handed it to Raz’ul. 

Raz’ul took the toaster and inspected it closely. The wings were indeed attached to the toaster, and as far as Raz’ul could tell, they looked like they were actually growing out of the smooth metal sides. He touched one gently and it twitched. Huh. Was this thing actually alive? Just as Raz’ul was starting to rethink everything he knew about toasters and animals, he noticed something on the underside of one of the wings. It looked like a folded piece of paper. Raz’ul carefully extracted it from the feathers and handed the toaster back to Randy, who frowned when he noticed the note in Raz’ul’s hand.

“What’s that?” Randy asked. Raz’ul shrugged and unfolded the paper. On it was a note written in careful calligraphy with shiny purple ink. Raz’ul read it out loud: 

“This is for the pudding. Xoxo Symbol”

Suddenly the toaster in Randy’s hands exploded, and glitter flew everywhere. It seemed to cover every square inch of their living room. Randy and Raz’ul looked at each other, shock and glitter all over their faces. And then Randy laughed.

“Nice one, Splash! Holy crap,” he said, brushing glitter out of his hair. “Well, if it’s a prank war he wants, it’s a prank war he’s got. Wanna help?” Raz’ul looked around at their now bedazzled living room, and then back at Randy. A grin slowly crept over his face.

“Oh yeah. What do you have in mind?”


	2. Picture Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> clarkkentismyalterego on tumblr: Yashee and Tabitha, “take a picture it’ll last longer”

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

Yashee’s voice snaps Tabitha out of her reverie. She had seriously spaced out during their dinner date and had just been staring at Yashee. Her girlfriend is staring back at her, a bemused smile on her face. Tabitha smiles shyly back. 

“You know no picture could capture your beauty, Yashee,” she says, and then yawns. “Sorry. What were you saying?” 

“I was saying that we could maybe read something together when we got back to my dorm, but I think you need to go to bed,” Yashee says. “Did you sleep at all last night?” Tabitha shakes her head.

“I had to study. This music theory midterm is going to kill me, I think.” Tabitha stops and looks at the clock on the wall of the cafetorium. “Crap. Speaking of which, I should go back and study some more. I have a lot to go over.” She starts to stand but Yashee gets up first and takes her tray.

“Relax,” she says, walking toward the trash can. “I got it. Then we’ll go back to your dorm and study, okay? I have my history notes to go over.” Tabitha nods, rests her head on her hands and watches her girlfriend walk away. 

“Gods, I love her...” she thinks. She closes her eyes and sighs happily, and then a second later is woken up by her head slipping off her hand and hitting the table. She groans and rubs her forehead. Yashee rushes over and kneels next to her. 

“Are you okay?” she asks, her brow furrowed on concern. Tabitha nods, grimacing and then stands. She stumbles slightly but Yashee catches her. 

“I don’t think you should walk with a head injury like that,” Yashee says only half-jokingly. Before Tabitha can answer, Yashee picks her up with one arm around her shoulders and the other behind her knees. Tabitha squeaks. 

“Don’t worry, I gotcha,” Yashee says, and begins to walk toward Tabitha’s dorm. The gentle rocking of Yashee’s steps quickly lulls Tabitha back to sleep. She tries to sleepily thank Yashee but she’s unsure if her words are clear. Yashee simply laughs and says something back, and then the last thing Tabitha remembers is the feeling of Yashee’s lips on her forehead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: @fully-realized-creation
> 
> Twitter: @schwartzie7
> 
> I love you.


	3. A Memory, Mvt. I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous: “What happened to your hand(s)?” from someone to Randy?

“—andy? Randy?”

Randy comes to at the sound of the semi-familiar voice. He’s on the ground, but he doesn’t remember getting there, and there’s a weird smell in the air. He feels bone tired and his stomach hurts. He grimaces and sits up. 

“What happened to your hands?”

Randy looks down. His palms are...red? And...sticky? He tries to remember what he was doing before he fell asleep (or got knocked out?) but it’s all blurry. 

Suddenly a sharp pain ricochets through his skull and his stomach cramps horribly. He curls up in pain and the voice calls for help—

But in the back of his head, Randy swears he hears someone laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: @fully-realized-creation
> 
> Twitter: @schwartzie7
> 
> I love you.


	4. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> spookyhetero on tumblr: “You shouldn’t have gone by yourself” with randy and splash?

“You shouldn’t have gone by yourself.”

Symbol looks up. In the darkness of the cart he can just barely make out Randy staring at him, Yashee and Raz’ul asleep on either side of him. 

“In Basom, I mean. To meet with the officials. You should’ve...” Randy chews his lip as he thinks. “You shouldn’t have stayed in the city alone. You should’ve come with us.”

Symbol continues to stare at him and says nothing. Randy begins to fidget. 

“I know you were undercover but...you’re our teacher. A lot happened down there, and you knew about Eddie and what could happen but...you didn’t come with us.” Symbol can hear the anger in his voice now. “You said you love us, Splash. You’re supposed to protect us. Why didn’t you?”

Symbol stares at him for another moment and then finally looks away, settling back in his seat in the cart and closing his eyes. 

“We all have difficult choices to make, Randy. Some more difficult than others. You should know.” 

Randy says nothing. Symbol doesn’t sleep that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: @fully-realized-creation
> 
> Twitter: @schwartzie7
> 
> I love you.


	5. A Memory, Mvt. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> spookyhetero: what up I’m back baby, Randy Nowhereman, “don’t worry you’ve got me to take care of you”

Randy is homesick. 

He’s young and small and scared and he’s missing his family so much it hurts. It’s a physical pain deep in his stomach that has him curled up on his bedroll late at night. 

This is how Rhiannon finds him. 

She sits with him and listens as he talks about his parents and his brother, hugging a ratty teddy bear to his chest. He cries on her shoulder. 

“I’m afraid,” he confesses. “I’m afraid I made the wrong choice.”

“We all are,” she says, running her fingers through his red hair. 

“I’m afraid, he says, “that they won’t take me back, when this is all over.” 

“The Nowhere Man are all you need now,” she says.

“I’m afraid,” Randy says, holding the bear even closer, “that there will be no one left who cares.”

Rhiannon smiles. 

“Don’t worry,” she says, “you’ve got me to take care of you.”

Randy is more afraid than before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: @fully-realized-creation
> 
> Twitter: @schwartzie7
> 
> I love you.


	6. Deer Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous: “I’ll take you home” with Raz’ul

Raz’ul curses loudly as he stumbles over yet another tree root. He’s beginning to think that the trees are moving them directly into his path, trying to deter him from travelling any deeper into the forest. It makes him even more aware of how out of place he is here. How he doesn’t belong above ground, surrounded by so much life and greenery. Raz’ul shakes his head before he can travel down that line of thinking any further. 

Sunlight filters down through the leaves above his head, casting strange greenish shadows all around him. Raz’ul pauses for a moment. He breathes deeply, remembering what the druids he had so recently begun to learn from had told him: “Nature heals in various ways. We as druids are able to channel that healing through magic, but it is not the only method nature uses. There is power in the oxygen the trees give off, in the smell of flowers, in the taste and feel of a cold river.” Raz’ul continues to breathe in everything around him, letting himself feel the fresh power of the forest.

A twig suddenly snaps to his right, and quick as a flash Axe Usumptin is off his back and in his hands in a ready position. He listens carefully, and for a long minute hears nothing else. He lowers the axe and is about to continue his journey into the forest when something leaps out of the foliage in a shower of leaves and twigs. The creature falls in front of Raz’ul, and he sees that it is a deer--a fawn, no bigger than he is. One of its legs is twisted oddly and it struggles to get its footing. Finally, exhausted and panting, it lays down, one eye focused on Raz’ul and his axe.

The dwarf puts the axe away quickly and spreads his hands out, palms open, attempting to show the deer that he means no harm. It shifts, trying to stand again, but when it places its weight on its injured leg, it lets out a noise of pain and falls once more. 

Raz’ul, meanwhile, is panicking a little. He knows some healing spells and salves, sure, but nothing that would reset and heal a bone. He goes to pull on his beard, an old nervous habit, but only grasps at the air below his chin. He’s still getting used to being clean shaven. 

The deer would have to be brought back to the druid settlement, Raz’ul finally decides. He takes another deep breath, drawing on the power and strength of the trees around him, and then bends down next to the deer. It flinches and tries to move away from him, but he takes a few berries out of his travelling pack and holds them out to it. The deer sniffs cautiously, still eyeing Raz’ul suspiciously, and then gently eats the berries out of the dwarf’s hand. Raz’ul smiles.

“That’s it, buddy, I’m not gonna hurt you,” he says, and then carefully arranges the deer’s legs so he could pick it up without hurting it any more.

“You’re gonna be just fine. I’ll take you home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: @fully-realized-creation
> 
> Twitter: @schwartzie7
> 
> I love you.


	7. Liar Lyre

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> allmyfavesareflawed on tumblr: “Another sleepless night, huh?” with anyone

“Another sleepless night, huh?”

Symbol jumps at the sound of Mitch’s voice, causing some of his coffee to spill out of the mug and onto his hand–but when had it gone cold? Mitch grabs the dishtowel by the sink and walks over to the kitchen table where Symbol is sitting. He picks up the mug and places it in the sink before wiping down the table and Symbol’s hand, clasping it gently as he sits next to him.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Mitch asks. Symbol meets Mitch’s gaze and thinks. 

Does he want to talk about this? Discuss how he’s been lying to Mitch, to Alola, to his students? Bring up all of his secrets, like Mitch is supposed to understand what he’s trying to do? Symbol sighs and shakes his head.

“It’s complicated,” he says, lacing his fingers with Mitch’s. Mitch smiles wryly.

“You? Complicated? Who would’ve thought,” he says. He’s trying to get Symbol to smile, but it doesn’t work. Mitch’s smile fades. “Symbol, come on, I’m worried. This is the third night I’ve found you sitting in here. You can talk to me, about anything.You know that, right?” Symbol nods. 

“Of course, I know, but…” Symbol takes a moment to choose his words carefully. “There’s…a lot going on right now. At school, I mean. And it’s just a lot of…sensitive information that I can’t share. With anyone. Even you.”

Mitch is staring at him in a way that makes Symbol incredibly uncomfortable. He’s always been a very quiet man, but because of that, he’s incredibly observant, and Symbol suspects that he knows he is lying and is trying to think of the best way to confront him about it. Mitch leans forward and kisses him softly.

“We both know you’re lying,” he says, and Symbol actually feels afraid, for the first time in a long while. “But we both also know that you have your reasons for doing so. And that’s okay.” Mitch squeezes Symbol’s hand and stands, pulling his boyfriend up with him and holding him close. Mitch stares at him, a complicated look on his face. He looks…concerned? Afraid? Symbol can’t blame him. Mitch kisses him again.

“Just be careful, okay? I don’t want you or those kids getting hurt.” Symbol says nothing. He pulls Mitch into a hug, and then leads the way to their bedroom.

No more lies for tonight, he thinks.


	8. A Memory, Mvt. III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> clarkkentismyalterego: if you have time Randy and Joby “how could I forget?”
> 
>  
> 
> I always have time for Randy and Joby.

Randy woke up suddenly and in pain. Something had landed hard on his chest, knocking the breath out of him. Slowly, he became more aware of his surroundings and of a voice that was yelling something over and over in his ear.

“You remembered! You remembered!” Randy grinned.

“Course I did, Joby!” he said. “How could I forget? You only turn seven once, right?” His little brother gave him a huge gap-toothed grin and threw his tiny arms around Randy’s neck. 

“I juss can’t believe it! You got me an actual birthday present! It’s awesome!” Joby reached behind him to grab Randy’s gift and held it up, staring at it with a mix of wonder and joy.

It wasn’t the most well-made teddy bear, Randy had to admit. The fur was matted in places, and the stuffing in its arms was lumpy and uneven. Still, it was soft, and good to cuddle with, and the perfect size for a halfling child. Joby hugged it to his chest. 

“I love him so much, Randy, thank you!” Randy grinned and pulled his brother and the bear close to him.

“Now, listen, Jo,” Randy said, “this bear is very special. It’s actually magic.” Joby’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped. He carefully held the bear out again, inspecting it as if trying to see a magical aura.

“It’s going to protect you. From any bad dreams or bad people,” Randy continued. He gave Joby a little squeeze. “As long as you care for it, it’ll care for you, alright?” Joby nodded and hugged the bear close again, and then turned and buried his face into Randy’s chest. 

“Thank you, Randy,” Joby said quietly, muffled by his brother’s shirt. Randy smiled and wrapped his arms around him, laying back down in bed. 

“You’re welcome, Joby.”

\---

Randy sat up with a start, the comforting weight of his little brother gone, as it had been for quite some time. The only thing lying next to him was a ratty teddy bear. He looked at the window and saw the sun shining into his bedroom at Strumlotts. Randy swallowed, picked up the bear and held it tight to his chest. 

It was Joby’s birthday.

How could he forget?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: @fully-realized-creation
> 
> Twitter: @schwartzie7
> 
> I love you.


	9. A Memory, Mvt. IIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> spookyhetero: “Go home” with... (dun dun dun) Randy and Joby

“Jo-jo, go home,” Randy said, “I’m not going to tell you again.” From behind him he heard his little brother huff indignantly.

“C’mon, Randy, you never let me hang out with you and your friends!” his little brother whined. “Why can’t I go down to the river with y’all?” Randy rolled his eyes and finally stopped walking, turning around and facing Joby.

“Because, it’s not a place for little kids to hang out,” Randy said. “It can be really dangerous. Now go home or I’ll tell Ma about who really ate her blueberry pie last week.” Joby crossed his arms and pouted. 

 

“That’s not fair! We stole it an’ ate it together!” he said. Randy shrugged and turned back to continue down the path to the river. Before he could move, his brother grabbed his hand. Randy looked back. Joby had a strange, concerned look on his face. He almost looked afraid.

“What’s the matter, Jo?” Randy asked. Joby looked down and shuffled his feet a little.

“I just...I got a bad feeling. About you going to the river without me,” he said. “I think...if I’m not there somethin’ bad will happen. Not real bad, but...bad. Please let me come with you?”

Randy paused. His brother had shown signs of being clairvoyant in the past, and most of the time he was right. Still, Randy’s friends would never let him live it down if he showed up dragging his little brother behind him. Randy gently extracted his hand from Joby’s and shook his head.

“I can handle a little ‘something bad,’ alright, Jo?” Randy said. “Now go home.” He set off once again for the river and his friends. He only turned back once to see Joby still standing on the path, nervously chewing his bottom lip.

\---

Randy rubbed absent-mindedly at the slightly raised scar on his leg as he tried to focus on pretending to read his homework. Yashee noticed and poked his knee. 

“Hey, what’d you get that from?” she asked, gesturing toward the scar. “It looks pretty nasty. Was that from the Nowhere Man?” Randy shook his head.

“No, uh...I went down to a river with some of my friends one day, and I tried to jump off a cliff into the water, and clipped my leg on a sharp rock on the way down,” he said. “Sliced me right up.” Yashee winced sympathetically.

“Ouch,” she said. “Well, at least you got a cool scar out of it!” Randy smiled a little sadly and only nodded. Yashee turned back to her own homework, and Randy looked down at his book. He rubbed at his eyes and once again pretended to read.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: @fully-realize-creation
> 
> Twitter: @schwartzie7
> 
> I love you.


	10. The Needs of the Many

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous: How about “You can’t save everyone” and Splash?

Symbol knocks on Alola’s door. He had been called to her office for an unknown reason, and his mind is racing, trying to figure out what he could have possibly done this time to warrant a call. 

Alola opens the door and simply nods at him, stepping aside to let him in. He sits down in what he now considers to be his usual chair and waits as she sits down across from him. Alola folds her hands in front of her and is silent for a long while. Symbol is beginning to think he’s supposed to say something first but before he can, the headmistress finally speaks. 

“Symbol, it’s time we discuss your student, Randy Greentrees,” she says. Symbol raises an eyebrow. She continues, “It has come to my attention that he is, perhaps, not suited--that is, he...well, to be blunt, I believe he is a danger to your students, and to the entire school.” Both of Symbol’s eyebrows go up.

“And what exactly brought you to this conclusion, Headmistriss?” he asks. There was no way she could know about Rhiannon and Eddie, unless--

Alola reaches into a drawer in her desk and pulls out his journal. He curses quietly. He had meant to go back through that and remove any mention of the Nowhere Man and the gizzard wizard but in his haste to return to his bed and get some real rest, he had turned in his journal without reviewing it. Symbol leans forward.

“Alola, please,” he says, “do you really think Randy is the only student here with a tragic backstory and dangerous powers? Half of these students could probably turn against us at any moment. Why are you signaling out Randy?”

“You know as well as I do what the Nowhere Man are capable of,” she says. “They pose a unique danger to our current and future students alike. If they track Randy down and find him here...I do not want to think about what they would do in order to get to him. In addition, the chaotic,er, ‘gizzard wizard,’ as you call him, cannot be trusted. You say so yourself in your journal, Randy does not have the mental strength to refuse Eddie every time. We cannot have such a liability here at Strumlotts. We have to let him go.” Symbol shakes his head.

“I know I can help him, Alola,” he says. “Yashee and Raz’ul can, too. They’ve grown so close already, and you’ve seen what they can do with their music! They’re so close to figuring out ensemble magic. They’re some of the most powerful students I’ve ever seen. If we break them up now...I don’t want to imagine what consequences that would have on any of them.” It’s Alola’s turn to shake her head, 

“Symbol, it’s my job as headmistress to protect my students,” she says as she returns his journal to her desk drawer, “even if that means protecting them from other students.”

“Sending a student out, alone, back into the world to be hunted is not protecting him!” Symbol shouts. Alola levels a glare at him. 

“Sometimes the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few,” she says, clearly trying to keep her voice steady and calm. “It has to be done, and there’s no way you can change my mind.”

“Alola--!” 

“You can’t save everyone, Symbol!” Alola shouts, and Symbol sits back in his chair in shock. Alola takes a deep breath and looks down at her desk.

“I became headmistress of this school because I know how to make hard choices,” she says, quieter now. “I do not like them, but I have to make them. I’m sorry, Symbol. I’ll give him one more night here, with his band, but then tomorrow, he will be expelled from Strumlotts. You may go.”

Symbol flounders for a moment, trying to think of something, anything, to say that might convince Alola otherwise. Finally, he stands and exits her office, closing her door behind him. He stands in the hallway for another moment, thinking. Then, he takes off toward the student dormitories. Alola’s exclamation, “You can’t save everyone!”, echoes in his head.

“Well, I can certainly try,” he thinks as he enters the bassoon shaped dorm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: @fully-realized-creation
> 
> Twitter: @schwartzie7
> 
> I love you.


	11. Prank War, Mvt. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous: “You’re worth every second of my time,” Splash and his students?

Symbol was on his way to his office to maybe, finally, get this paperwork finished when there was a tinkling on his Ira Glass and a voice whispered his name. He dug the glass cylinder out of his pocket, still hurrying down the hallway.

“What,” he snapped. He really didn’t have time to talk to anyone right now. Alola had been breathing down his neck to get these forms filled out for two weeks, and now she was threatening to suspend his pay if he didn’t get them done by the end of this week.

“Well, hello to you, too, Splash.” It was Raz’ul. Symbol sighed and rolled his eyes. He didn’t even bother taking the time to correct the dwarf on his name.

“What do you want, Razul, I’m in a hurry,” Symbol said. There was some shuffling noises and whispers in the background. Then, Randy’s voice came from the Glass.

“We need your help in one of the training rooms,” he said. “We’re trying to figure out this chord progression but something isn’t working. Can you come help us?” Symbol felt a headache coming on. He resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose, if only because his hands were full. 

“I’m sure you three will get it eventually,” he said, “I can’t be there right now.” There was some more shuffling and whispers.

“Splash, c’mon please,” Yashee pleaded, “we’ve been working at this for hours and we’re all really frustrated. It won’t take you nearly as long to figure out what we’re doing wrong. Please?” Symbol began to slow his pace and really thought about this situation. Sure, Alola really needed these forms done in a few days, but right now his students needed him. Aren’t they just as, if not MORE important than some paperwork? Surely the headmistress would understand if he didn’t get the forms filled out on time due to focusing on actually teaching his students valuable bardic lessons. He turned down another corridor and started to make his way to the training rooms.

“I’m on my way,” he said, and Chaos Sauce cheered. 

\---

It only took Symbol a few minutes to reach the training room where his students were practicing. He could hear them trying to work through the song, but they were right--something definitely sounded off. He opened the door, already planning out three different ways they can improve the composition when he felt a tug at his ankle and he was suddenly looking at his students upside down. They were bent over double laughing, and Randy and Raz’ul high-fived.

“Oh man, that went way better than I thought it would!” Yashee said. “I can’t believe he actually fell for it!” Randy laughed even harder.

“Yeah, I know you’re busy, Splash, so we don’t want to hold you up for too much longer,” he said, wiping away tears.

“Headmistress Greenspire should understand if you’re a little tied up at the moment,” said Raz’ul before he actually fell on the floor laughing. Splash frowned and finally looked up--down?--at what, exactly, was keeping him “tied up.” 

At first he couldn’t see anything, but then he shifted a little and noticed a slight magical sheen around his ankle--Mage Hand. He shot a sharp look at Randy and wiggled a little, trying to get the Mage Hand to let go. It held fast.

“Put me down,” he said, “I actually do have work to do, you know.” His students were finally calming down and Randy nodded, and with a wave of his hand the Mage Hand was gone. 

Thankfully, Symbol’s dexterity saved him from landing on his head, but didn’t do well enough to get him on his feet. The breath was knocked out of him as he landed on his back with a--squish? He placed his hand on the floor next to him and then held it in front of his face. It was covered with a greenish substance. He gave it a sniff and gagged.

“Is this key lime pudding?!” Chaos Sauce cracked up again. Now they were all on the floor, barely able to breathe. Symbol gingerly stood up and tried to avoid slipping back into the mess. He turned back to face his students.

“Do you know how much time I’m going to have to take to wash my clothes now?” he said, trying to keep his voice steady. “Do you realize how much of my day you’ve wasted?” 

“Aw, come on, Splash,” Yashee said, lying on the floor on her back. “I know it’s gonna take a while to clean up, but you gotta admit the detour was kinda worth it, right?” Symbol thought for a moment, and then slowly nodded as he turned and walked through the doorway. With a quick wave of his hand, the pudding in front of the door turned into quicksand. Raz’ul and Yashee gasped and Randy started to giggle. 

“You’re worth every second of my time,” Symbol said over his shoulder sarcastically before closing the door behind him and magically locking it. He walked down the hallway with a slight smile on his face, the cries of disappointment and laughter of his students fading behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tumblr: @fully-realized-creation
> 
> Twitter: @schwartzie7
> 
> I love you.


	12. Lullaby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AB— “Three cups of coffee wasn’t enough?” and Chaos Sauce

Randy slams the empty mug on the counter of the coffee shop. The barista raises their eyebrow at him but says nothing. They take the mug and refill it--three shots of espresso, coffee and steamed milk--and place it back in front of the halfling. Randy puts some money down and nods at the barista. He walks back to the table he’s sharing with Yashee and Raz’ul. After a minute of Randy hopping and sleepily grabbing for the edge of the too-tall bar stool, Yashee sighs and grabs him by the back of his shirt, placing him on the chair. 

“Three cups of coffee wasn’t enough?” she says, eyeing Randy’s steaming mug of caffeine with a mix of fear and disgust. He takes a moment to fully process her words, and then slowly shakes his head. He takes a sip of his coffee and sighs happily. 

“Was up all night,” he says. “And the night before. And most of the night before that. If Splash is sending us on another assignment, then…” He raises his mug as a means of explanation and takes another sip. Randy’s eyes are unfocused, and so he doesn’t see the way Yashee and Raz’ul eyebrows furrow in concern. 

“You haven’t slept in almost three days?” Raz’ul asks. “Dude, how are you even alive right now?” Randy shrugs. Yashee and Raz’ul glance at each other, worry written all over their faces. Coffee isn’t what Randy needs right now, he needs sleep. Yashee chews her bottom lip, thinking. She gets an idea and grins. Putting a finger to her lips, she winks at Raz’ul and gets a spoon out of her bag. She starts tapping out a steady beat on the table with it.

It takes Randy a while to really notice, but eventually he shakes his head slightly. He looks confused as his eyes focus on Yashee and the “tap, tap, tap” of the spoon. 

“What’re you doing?” he asks. His eyes are tracking the motion of the spoon, up and down, up and down, as it taps against the table. She doesn’t say anything but keeps up the beat. Soon, Randy is following the motion of the spoon with his whole head. Every time he follows it down, his head sinks lower and lower. Raz’ul slowly moves his half-full coffee mug out of his way, just in time for Randy’s head to gently sink onto the table. His gentle snores mingle with the sound of the spoon, until Yashee finally stops and puts it back in her bag. Raz’ul looks at her in amazement.

“How...what...what did you just do?” he asks. She shrugs. 

“Honestly, I’m not too sure,” she says, “but my mom used to do it to me as a kid when I didn’t wanna go to bed.” She stands and gently picks up her sleeping friend. “Come on. Let’s get him to bed.”


	13. Pants on Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rowan— “I want the truth” with Raz’ul

“Whoa, Raz’ul, what’s this?”

Raz’ul looks over to see Yashee pulling his royal vestments from his closet, and then his brain sort of shuts down. He barely registers Randy walking over and grabbing them as well, feeling the soft silk slip between his fingers. 

“These are sweet, Raz, where did you get them?” Randy’s voice sounds far away. Raz’ul tries to swallow, to find his voice, but his throat is dry. He knew this day would come sooner or later, but not this soon. He wasn’t ready now. Yashee and Randy are staring at him, waiting for an answer. Raz’ul reaches up to tug at his beard but his hand meets the empty air below his chin. He covers it up by scratching at the scruff that was slowly but steadily growing back in. 

“Uh,” he finally says, “it’s...part of my disguise kit. It can’t be folded because of the, uh, silk and stuff so. I have to hang it up in there.” Randy is still inspecting the vestments closely, his eyes narrowed slightly. 

“These are really well made for something from a disguise kit,” he says. 

“It’s, uh, a, uh, high end disguise kit.” Raz’ul mentally kicks himself for digging himself into this hole. What if they ask to see the rest of the kit? 

Yashee turns the garment around to look at the back and gasps softly at the intricate embroidery there. 

“This is beautiful,” she says, and then holds the clothes out a little farther away from her face, looking at the whole design at once. “Hey, this symbol looks really familiar. I think...Yeah, I think I saw this once when my family and I were travelling by the mountains up north. It’s the symbol for the Udalloli clan! Isn’t that the clan you’re from, Raz’ul?” Raz’ul forces himself to nod. 

Now it’s Randy’s turn to inspect the back of the clothes. His eyes are still narrowed. Then, he shakes his head.

“This isn’t from a disguise kit,” he says. “This is the real deal. Like, actual royal vestments.” He fixes his gaze on Raz’ul. “Why are you lying to us?” Raz’ul’s heart skips a beat and he chuckles nervously.

“I’m...what? I’m not lying!” Randy shakes his head again. 

“Do you really think by now I can’t tell when you’re lying?” he says. “I want the truth. Now.” 

Raz’ul hands start to shake and he takes a moment to focus on keeping his breathing steady. If he has a panic attack right now, that will really give him away. His mind races with different explanations and lies he can give to his bandmates, but then he sees the way they’re looking at him--Yashee, with her wide, worried eyes and Randy, nervous and distrustful--so he takes a deep breath and makes a decision.

“Those are real royal vestments,” he says, “from the Udalolli clan’s kingdom. For a prince, specifically.”

“Why do you have them?” Yashee asks quietly. Raz’ul takes another deep breath and gently takes the clothes out of Randy’s hands. 

“Uh, I was part of an uprising,” he says slowly, running his fingers over the embroidered symbol on the back. “The king and the princes were...awful. Cruel and selfish and...and the kingdom finally had enough. So we planned and plotted and one day, we attacked. And I was one of the first who rushed in, one of the first who even thought about going against the king. So I was granted certain, uh, privileges. Including killing one of the princes. And I took his best garments as a prize.” He looks up at his bandmates and shrugs. “So, uh, yeah. That’s the truth. I’m a traitor and a murderer and a fugitive.” He carefully places the clothes back in his closet. Randy and Yashee are silent for a long time. 

“Is anyone coming after you?” Randy asks quietly. Raz’ul shakes his head. There’s another long silence. Then, Randy throws an arm around Raz’ul’s waist, a slight smile on his face. “Well, even if they were, we wouldn’t let them touch you. And hey, doesn’t it feel good to tell the truth sometimes?” Raz’ul gives him a weak smile back.

“Yeah,” he says, “feels great.”


	14. Hide ‘n Seek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bethany— “How did you know where to find me?” with Raz’ul and his family.

“How did you know where to find me?” Raz’ul looks up at his father, King Daz’ul. The light behind him casts his face in shadow, but Raz’ul clearly hears him chuckle. 

“Oh, Raz’berry,” Daz’ul says, “did you really think you’d be able to hide forever?” He bends down and picks up his son easily, holding him at his hip. The small, young prince wraps his arms around his father’s neck, pouting.

“I thought for sure that that was the best hiding spot,” he says. “How are you so good at hide ‘n seek?” Daz’ul laughs again. 

“Because I’m king,” he says with a smile, “and in order to become king, you have to be really good at hide ‘n seek.” He walks out of the throne room, toward Raz’ul’s rooms. “Come now, bed time.” 

Raz’ul is quiet during the short walk but to his bedroom, but when his father tucks him in, he looks up at Daz’ul and asks a question that’s been plaguing him for quite a few days now:

“Father, will I ever be king?” 

Daz’ul stops wrapping the blanket around his young son. He sits down on the edge of the bed. 

“Raz’berry,” he says softly, running a hand through the prince’s curly hair. “You’ve got a long way to go before you have to worry about that. Why are you asking?” Raz’ul twists the edge of the blanket around his fingers. 

“Dank’ul said...well, he said that ‘cause I’m so little, I’ll never be king. And, uh...some other stuff too,” Raz’ul says, looking down at his hands. “He was real mean. But I think he was lying. Was he lying?” 

King Daz’ul is quiet for a long moment. Then he folds his hands in his lap.

“Son,” he says, “there’s a lot you don’t understand about what it means to be king. And your older brothers...they’ve just had more time to learn. Yes, they’re bigger than you but bigger does not always mean stronger, remember that.” He shifts on the bed so he can face his son better. “Raz’ul, you have the potential to be a great king, I can see that already. Just work hard and focus and study, and you’ll be King of the Udalloli in no time.” He leans forward and gently kisses his son on his forehead. “Now go to sleep. Dream of better places to hide.” 

Raz’ul laughs and settles down in bed. He closes his eyes and drifts off, dreaming of curtains and dark spaces and the joy of never being found. 

\---

Raz’ul wakes up with a start, his heart pounding and his forehead burning. He rubs his head, wincing. From a chair nearby, Yashee looks up from the book she was reading at him. 

“Hey, Raz’ul, you okay?” she asks. “You passed out pretty hard on the couch like an hour ago.” 

“Uh...yeah,” he says slowly. His head doesn’t hurt as much anymore. “Just...had a weird dream.” She frowns. 

“Aw, I’m sorry,” she says, “but hey, at least it was just a dream. It wasn’t real.” Raz’ul nods and slowly lays back down. 

“Yeah...not real.”


	15. A Bad Brain Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bethany— “You’re worth every second of my time.” and Yashee/Tabitha

Tabitha is curled up on her bed, staring at the wall. She has things she could be doing--rehearsing, combat training, reading--but nothing appeals to her. Well, that’s not exactly true. Anything sounds better than just laying here, looking at nothing, but her body refuses to move and her brain refuses to focus on anything except how easy it is to stay stationary. 

Ilda and Gareth left the dorm hours ago. Or maybe it was only a few minutes ago? Tabitha can’t remember when she woke up and heard the door open and close. 

She thinks about rolling over. She thinks about getting up and eating breakfast. She thinks about calling Yashee. 

Tabitha shakes her head and rolls over finally, as if trying to physically escape from the thought as best as she can. She can’t drag Yashee into this...whatever this is. Yashee likes her because she’s fun and bubbly and makes her laugh. It’s impossible for Tabitha to even think about being funny right now. 

It’s nice to think about Yashee, though. Yashee is really nice. Tabitha smiles slightly for the first time in what feels like forever, but it disappears quickly as she hears her Ira Glass go off on her bedside table. Reaching over and grabbing the cylinder and bringing it up to her mouth and speaking sounds like a monumental task. 

“Tabitha?”

It’s Yashee. 

The Glass goes off again and Tabitha finally gathers the strength to reach over and pick it up.

“Hello?” she says through a yawn. She’s exhausted now. Moving her arm was too much work. Maybe she should take a nap once she’s done talking to Yashee. 

“Hi, baby!” Yashee says excitedly and a little too loudly for Tabitha’s suddenly sensitive ears. “Did I wake you up? I just wanted to see if you wanted to go get lunch together! I heard Alto Brown has steak and mashed potatoes for his special today!” Tabitha’s stomach rumbles slightly but walking all the way to the cafetorium and seeing all of those people sounds like a nightmare. 

“I’m not really feeling up to going to the cafe today,” Tabitha says. She can almost hear Yashee’s protective instincts kick in, and she winces. 

“Are you feeling okay? What’s wrong?” Tabitha blinks away sudden tears. Yashee sounds so worried and upset now; she hadn’t wanted to ruin her girlfriend’s day. She swallows and clears her throat so it won’t sound like she’s crying.

“Just...not feeling good,” she says. “Tired.” 

“Do you want me to come over? I can bring soup or something,” Yashee says but Tabitha is shaking her head before Yashee finishes her question. 

“No, no, I don’t wanna be a bother,” Tabitha says. “I just need to rest. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” And she ends the call before Yashee can answer. 

Tabitha presses the heels of her hands into her eyes, willing herself to stop crying for no reason, but that only upsets her more, and so suddenly she’s curled up in a tight ball and sobbing. She hates that she feels like this, hates that she upset Yashee, hates that she can’t bring herself to do anything worthwhile. 

She cries herself out in just a few minutes. She wipes her face with her blanket and yawns again. She’s even more exhausted than before, and thirsty. She figures she can take a quick nap before getting up and getting some water. 

Just as she closes her eyes, however, she hears the door to her dorm open. She waits to hear Gareth’s voice or Ilda’s bedroom door open next to hers, but instead she hears her own door open. Tabitha slowly turns toward it to see Yashee, holding a container of soup in one hand and her very full backpack in the other. 

Yashee doesn’t say anything. She comes into Tabitha’s room and puts the soup on her bedside table. From her bag, she pulls out two bowls and spoons, a stack of comic books and a novel Tabitha had loaned her yesterday. The last thing she takes out is a bag of chocolate. Then, she picks up Tabitha, sits down on her bed, and settles back against the pillows, cradling her girlfriend in her arms. Yashee opens the bag of chocolate and leaves it propped up against her side where they can both reach it, grabs the novel and begins to read.

Throughout this whole process, Tabitha is frozen with shock and confusion. She lets Yashee settle in, and then leans back to look at her.

“Um...what are you doing?” she asks. Yashee doesn’t even look up from the book.

“You said you weren’t feeling well, so I came to take care of you,” she says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Tabitha frowns. 

“Don’t you have stuff to do today, though?” she asks. “I don’t want to take up your whole day, I’ll probably just sleep and be boring.” Yashee shrugs.

“Sleeping and being boring sounds pretty good to me.” Tabitha’s frown deepens.

“There are much better ways to spend your day then sitting here and not doing anything,” she says. “This is a waste of time.” Yashee finally puts the book down and looks back at Tabitha. She has an incredibly serious look on her face. 

“Tabs,” she says, “you’re worth every second of my time. I want to be here with you and help you feel better. Okay?” She gently kisses Tabitha’s forehead and goes back to reading. Tabitha stubbornly blinks back more tears. Then, she takes a piece of chocolate and lays her head down on Yashee’s shoulder, closing her eyes and breathing deeply. 

Tabitha feels better already.


	16. Stu(dying)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn— “If you make any noise, they’ll find us. So be quiet.” with Gareth and Randy

Asking for help is Gareth’s least favorite thing. Actually, his third least favorite thing is asking for help. His second least favorite thing is Randy, and his number one least favorite thing is asking for Randy’s help. But Gareth also hates failing a class (it’s probably tied for second least favorite thing), and he knows that somehow Randy is passing the one class they share together with flying colors, so he has to do his least favorite thing or he’ll keep failing. 

So now he’s sitting here, in his band’s usual study room, sitting across from Randy and trying to focus more on the study guide than how much he wants to punch Randy’s stupid, smug, self-satisfied face. Ever since Gareth had asked Randy for help, Randy had been holding it over him and it was getting old. 

“You’re not explaining this well,” Gareth grumbles. “Why can’t I just look at your study guide and see your work?” Randy holds his study guide closer to his chest; he hadn’t put it down on the table at all since they started. He claimed it was because he wanted Gareth to actually learn and not just copy his answers, but Gareth suspected that he just wanted to keep leveraging the little power he has over Gareth in this moment. 

“That’s not how you learn,” he says again. “I’ll find a different way to explain, let me see...um…”

Suddenly, Gareth lunges across the table for the guide but he forgets how damn fast Randy is. The halfling is under the table and across the room before Gareth can blink. He slams his fist down on the table and turns toward Randy. He’s standing against the far wall, but now he’s holding his study guide in his Mage Hand, poised and ready to run again or attack if Gareth gets too close. Gareth grabs a pencil near his hand and chucks it at Randy’s head. As the halfling jumps out of the way, Gareth anticipates his move and tackles him. Randy loses his concentration and the Mage Hand, and his study guide flutters to the ground a few feet away from them. They continue to struggle and fight and crawl ever closer to the guide. Randy and Gareth are both reaching for it, when suddenly from down the hall they hear a loud, boisterous laugh that sounds suspiciously like a certain half-orc’s. 

Gareth and Randy freeze. They hear Yashee’s voice get louder, and Tabitha’s answers her. The human and the halfling look at each other, and then leap up to gather their belongings. By the time they’ve shoved everything into their backpacks, it sounds like Yashee and Tabitha are only two or three doors down from the study room. Once again Gareth and Randy freeze and look at each other. Then, at the same time their gazes focus on the supply closet in the room. As one, they race towards it, shoving their way in next to the stacks of copy paper and boxes of pencils and paperclips. They get the closet door closed just before they hear the door to the study room open. 

Gareth is holding his breath, trying not to make any noise, until he feels a sharp pain on the top of his foot. He hisses and shifts the pressure off of his injured foot, knocking into one of the stacks of paper. 

“Shh!” Randy whispers. “If you make any noise, they’ll find us. So be quiet.” Gareth shoots him a withering glare.

“You stepped on my foot!” he whispers back. “Can you at least apologize?” Randy rolls his eyes.

“Sorry. Now shut up.” 

They’re both quiet for a few minutes, listening to Yashee and Tabitha chat and settle in for their own study session. 

Gareth is very bored very quickly. 

He shifts a little and notices that he has some paper clutched in his right hand. He glances down and sees that it’s one of their study guides, but he doesn’t see any of his messy scrawl on it. 

It’s Randy’s. 

A wicked grin flashes over Gareth’s face. Randy catches it out of the corner of his eye and looks at him, confused. He follows Gareth’s gaze down to his hand. He must recognize the paper, too, because his hand darts out and tries to snatch it away. Gareth is faster, for once, and holds the paper above his head. Randy is undeterred, and promptly leaps up onto Gareth, his legs wrapped around his waist and one arm around his neck. The other arm is reaching up for the paper. Gareth is knocked back into the tower of paper behind him, trying to keep the study guide up high enough so Randy can’t get it and peel the halfling off of him with his other hand. In their struggle, they don’t realize that the study room on the other side of the door has gone quiet. 

The door opens. Gareth and Randy freeze and then slowly turn their heads toward the doorway.

Yashee and Tabitha are standing there, staring. Yashee looks bemused while Tabitha looks like she’s about to start vibrating with giddiness. 

“I have to go tell Ilda!” she squeals. She barely stops to give Yashee a passing peck on the cheek before she’s grabbing her bag and running out the door. 

“Tabs, wait!” Gareth yells. He finally pushes Randy off of him and takes off after his bandmate. Randy falls to the floor with a thud and looks up at Yashee.

“You, uh...you won’t tell anyone about this, right?” he says. Yashee mimes pulling a zipper over her lips. Randy nods. “Good,” he says, and then he stands as casually as possible and saunters out of the study room. 

Yashee peeks outside to make sure he’s gone. Then, she takes out her Ira Glass.

“Raz’ul,” she whispers, “you’re not gonna believe what me and Tabs just saw!”


	17. Eye for an Eye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mick— “You can’t save everyone” where Splash has to save them from Wesley and has to make a choice

“You can’t save everyone,” the strange half-elf hisses in Symbol’s ear. “Choose. Now. Or lose them all.”

Symbol takes a deep breath in an attempt to slow down his rapidly beating heart. He’s staring at his three students, and they’re looking back at him from behind the bars of cages, their eyes full of terror. They have the same shimmery web wrapped around their wrists and ankles that he does, but he can see where their bonds have cut into their skin from being tied up for so long. 

Two weeks ago, when he sent his students to Lakeridge to get the guitar player new strings, he never imagined that they would get locked up by some cultist. He knew his students were powerful from the moment he saw them, but they were still no match for a follower of Delarim. He could barely hold his own against the man when he arrived to save his students, which is why Symbol finds himself trapped as well, unless he chooses which of the bards to save, and which to forsake. 

“I only need one to accomplish what Delarim needs,” he had said as his spiders finished looping their web around Symbol’s limbs. “So, really, you’re getting the better end of the deal here. Two bards instead of none.” 

Symbol is trying to think this through as best as he can. If he saves the half-orc and the dwarf, then maybe they can use her strength to overpower the half-elf and get the halfling free. Or if he gets the rogue out along with the barbarian, they can think up a sneakier plot to save the druid. Or…

“Take me,” Symbol says. “Let all of them go, and take me.” 

“NO!” the half-orc roars. “Splash, don’t!” But the half-elf is grinning, sharp and wicked. 

“That’ll work,” he says, and faster than Symbol realizes he’s being pushed into an empty cage and his students’ bonds are being unwound and their cages unlocked. Immediately, the half-orc lunges toward Symbol, but she’s pushed back by a faze spider’s sudden appearance in front of her. Two more appear in front of her bandmates and slowly force them all back to the door. 

“Hey, Splash, don’t worry, okay?” the dwarf says. “We’re gonna come back for you, just...just be careful!” The door slams in his face, and Symbol is alone with the half-elf and his spiders. Delarim’s servant looks at him and grins maliciously. 

“That wasn’t so bad, now was it?” he says. “Now, let’s get started.”


	18. Damn Letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anon: A kiss in grief with Yashee and Tabitha.

“Tabby, I don’t think I get what this question is asking.”

Yashee and Tabitha are in a study room, side by side on the ratty old couch, trying to decipher their sight reading homework. Though they take the class at different times, they have the same assignments, and have fallen into the habit of working on them together as often as possible. This set of questions is proving to be a real enigma, though, and both girls are finding themselves stumped. 

“I don’t think it IS asking anything,” Tabitha says, squinting at her book. Yashee huffs and closes her book, setting it on the arm of the couch. 

“I think we should take a break,” she says. “Do you have any more of those granola bars in your bag?” Tabitha smiles.

“I think I do,” she says, but before she can reach for her backpack, a swirl of magic fills the space next to the couch, and Emma Zahn’s delivery wizard, Reginald Brown appears. He has a bag stuffed full of packages and a slight grimace on his face. Tabitha turns to Yashee, confused.

“Did you order something from Emma?” she asks. Yashee shakes her head. Reginald steps forward, holding out a slim envelope.

“No packages,” he says. “Just a letter. An…emergency delivery. For Yashe’rak Bordun.” He butchers her name like always, but Yashee doesn’t seem to notice, too focused on the letter he hands her. He nods once and then disappears. 

“It’s from my mom,” she says, and then tears open the envelope.

Yashee starts to read the letter to herself, and then suddenly her face crumples and she sobs. It’s an ugly, broken sound that makes Tabitha want to cry just in sympathy. 

“Yashee?” she asks, distressed. “Yashee, what’s wrong, what happened?” Yashee sobs again and hands her girlfriend the letter. Tabitha skims it quickly, picking up just a few words here and there. “Nowhere Man…killed your father…running…leave Strumlotts…not safe…” Tears spring to Tabitha’s eyes and she throws her arms around Yashee, who turns towards her and curls up into a ball, still sobbing uncontrollably. There’s nothing Tabitha can say right now that would fix this. 

She presses her lips to the top of Yashee’s head, and then kisses her forehead, her eyes, her cheeks. She kisses away her tears, holding Yashee tightly as the half-orc shakes and cries herself out. When she’s cried all she could, there’s a long moment of silence. Yashee slowly unfolds her legs from underneath her and sits up.

“I have to go,” she says, her voice hoarse. Her eyes are still red and her face is still wet and Tabitha is shaking her head before Yashee even finishes her sentence. Yashee stands up and Tabitha follows suit, grabbing her girlfriend’s wrist.

“Wait, Yashee, we can…we can do something,” she says desperately. “We’ll tell Splash, or, or Alola, they can protect you! Going out by yourself is even more dangerous, you have to stay here, where…where I can protect you.” Yashee shakes her head. She gently takes her wrist out of Tabitha’s grasp and turns to face her, cupping her face in her hands and looking down at her with love and sorrow and heartbreak. She opens her mouth to speak but no words come. 

Yashee leans down and kisses Tabitha deeply. Tabitha feels everything in that kiss–desire and desperation and loss and love, above all else, love. Yashee finally breaks the kiss, nods once, and turns and leaves. Tabitha is left standing there, feeling lost, still clutching the damn letter in her hand.


	19. Best Served Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I lost the prompt for this one, OOPS. I’m pretty sure it was “Come on. Let’s go.”

“Heeyy, Randy…” Eddie’s voice slides into Randy’s head, smooth as silk. He shudders and imagines he feels a twinge in his back, right where the crack in his tattoo is. 

“What do you want, Eddie?” he says into his empty room. He had woken up with a tune stuck in his head and had been fiddling with his organ all morning trying to turn it into something usable. 

“I’ve been thinking…” Eddie continues and Randy snorts.

“That’s dangerous,” he mumbles. He thinks he almost has a melody figured out. If he just plays through it one more time--

“You know, Rhiannon is still out there,” Eddie says. Randy’s fingers slip and he plays the wrong chord. His hands clench into fists and he takes a deep, cleansing breath.

“I do know this, Eddie. Why are you bringing it up right now?” Randy thinks he feels an odd tightness in his shoulders, as though Eddie was trying to get him to shrug.

“Oh, I don’t know...it’s just...she found you once, right? Sure, it was a happy accident, but now she knows to look for you. Won’t be too much longer until she hears word of a group of bards featuring a halfling with an organ with a penchant for casting spells out of his stomach, right?” Randy sighs again, but before he can respond Eddie continues. 

“I’m just saying, it might benefit us both if you just...went after her first.” Randy frowns. 

“That doesn’t make any sense, Eddie,” he says. “Rhiannon saw everyone that day on the way to Basom. If I succeed or fail, it’ll just put Yashee and Raz’ul, even Splash and Mitch, in more danger. I can’t take that risk.” Now it’s Eddie’s turn to sigh.

“Randy, Randy, Randy,” he murmers, “You can’t think about them right now. This is between you and Rhiannon. She’s after you, all of the Nowhere Man are focused on YOU. Yashee and Raz’ul can handle themselves, I think they’ve proven that. C’mon, Randy. A little revenge mission never hurt anyone.”

Randy is shaking his head, but he has to admit that the idea is a little appealing. They’ll be travelling again soon enough, he’s sure, and the threat of the Nowhere Man tracking them down and attacking is all too real. It’s a risk to go after Rhiannon and take her out, hopefully before she reports seeing him to the rest of the Nowhere Man, but it’s a bigger risk to let her run free and get a larger group tracking him. 

“It’s too dangerous,” Randy says aloud, but he can hear the doubt in his own voice. 

“We can handle it, Randy. Together. You’ve seen what we’re capable of now.” Randy can hear the sly grin in Eddie’s voice. “C’mon, Randy. Forget about Yashee and Raz’ul for a second. Sometimes you have to think of yourself as a priority.” 

Eddie starts filling his minds with visions of Randy, triumphant, standing over a lifeless Rhiannon, breaking her mask in half and leaving his dagger in her heart as a sign and a warning to the rest of the rogues that had ruined his life. The sweet relief in knowing that, for a little while longer, he’s safe again. The comfort in that knowledge. The pride. The taste of revenge. Randy’s eyes are glazed and unfocused, but he smiles and stands.

“That’s it, Randy. Come on. Let’s go.”


	20. Mental Strength

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AB: “I think you should rest for the time being.” with Randy and Eddie

Randy bends over, his hands on his knees, panting. Another sharp pain shoots through his back and he hisses through his teeth. He rubs his forehead. 

“Eddie,” Randy thinks, “I swear to every god out there, if you don’t stop this--”

“Stop what?” Eddie says. Randy can hear the sneer in his voice. “Stop this?” It feels like someone presses a hot coal to his back. Randy doubles over in pain again. “Stop having fun?” The pain twists and travels up, to his neck and the base of his skull. “Stop making us more powerful?” His head is going to crack open, he’s sure of it. His hands fly to his head, and tears spring to his eyes. He barely manages to crack them open, to see the destruction he--no, Eddie--had wrought. 

Bodies lay in front of him, some of them groaning slightly, most of them immobile. The temple they’re in is, thankfully, still standing, despite Eddie’s best efforts, but there are smoldering tapestries and books and bits of rubble scattered around. The only thing that is completely untouched is the altar, and the heavy golden chest sitting on top of it.

Randy hadn’t even wanted to come to this stupid temple in the first place. Chaos Sauce had heard rumors that this city was hiding a group of the followers of Delarim. They had strong suspicions that Wesley had fled here, and, on top of that, Splash was pretty convinced that there was a powerful artifact of some sort hidden here as well. They arrived and split up to search the town, which is how Randy ended up here. Eddie knew immediately that the artifact was in the chest on the altar, and what ensued was a ferocious battle between the rogue and his gizzard wizard. Eddie had been getting stronger ever since Chaos Sauce’s fight with Squid Vicious, and Randy was shocked and terrified when his vision started blacking out as they struggled and Eddie actually managed to take control of Randy’s body. 

“Randy, you just gotta listen to me for a minute,” Eddie whispered. “You have no idea what that artifact can do for us--”

“And you do?!” Randy interrupts. He feels more than hears Eddie chuckle, an odd tingling sensation vibrating through his stomach. 

“You need to stop underestimating me,” Eddie says, and then the vibration in Randy’s stomach increases. Randy feels like he’s going to throw up. His head splits in pain again and he falls to the ground. As his vision begins to go dark again, he hears Eddie’s voice, louder and clearer than ever before, coming out of his own mouth.

“I think you should rest for the time being,” he says, and then everything goes black.


	21. Cooties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alice: A kiss out of necessity with Randy and Rhiannon. 
> 
> Warning for non consensual kissing

Rhiannon slides into the chair across from him with all the ease and grace of a cat. Randy doesn’t look up from his meager dinner. He knows it doesn’t matter if he acknowledges her or not, she’ll talk at him either way. 

“We’re going on a mission,” she says. Randy simply nods, still chewing. On the edges of his vision, he sees Rhiannon smirk. 

“Just you and I,” she says, and Randy chokes a little bit. He looks up at her now, distrust written all over his face.

 

“We never do two person missions,” he says. “Either solo or group.” Rhiannon shrugs.

“It’s a special case,” is all she says, and then she’s gone. Randy sighs and continues eating. She’ll fill him in on the rest of the details in her own time. 

\---

Randy tugs again at the bowtie tied too tight around his neck. He can just barely breathe, but Rhiannon had said that was normal when she had finished straightening the bow. His suit is itchy, too. At least Rhiannon hadn’t made him wear shoes. She said there were plenty of halfling royals and dignitaries who didn’t. 

They are at some sort of fundraiser, surrounded by rich people wearing tons of jewels and miles of the finest fabrics. Randy recognizes a few faces, but he hasn’t yet seen his and Rhiannon’s target. They circle the hall again, Rhiannon’s hand placed awkwardly on his shoulder. Their story is that they were ambassadors from a distant country, engaged to be married in the spring of next year. They haven’t done a very good job at pretending to be in love, however, and Randy knows that many of the people they had talked to were whispering about them, stealing glances whenever they could. 

Randy is pulled away from his thoughts by a squeeze on his shoulder. He glances up at Rhiannon and then follows her gaze to the entrance of the hall, where their target, a dwarven king from a far off underground kingdom, had just come in. He pats her hand to acknowledge he’s seen him.

The plan is relatively simple. They know that the real reason the king is here is not to donate any of his riches, but to pass along information about--of all things--a hidden treasure in a nearby abandoned mine. Randy had snorted when Rhiannon had told them what they would be stealing. It sounded like something out of a storybook his mother would read to him and Joby when they were little, but Rhiannon was insistent. She had heard about this mine before, and the supposed riches inside, but was never able to find anything about how to get there or what horrors lay within, guarding the treasure. How this king had obtained this information was a mystery, but the only important part was that he had it, and soon, the Nowhere Man would have it instead. And if they swiped a little extra gold off the king, well, that was just a bonus. 

Rhiannon had already intercepted the messenger that would be accepting the information from the king. In just a few seconds there would be--yes, there is the signal, and Randy and Rhiannon are off, slipping into a side corridor and walking quickly to the room where the information exchange would occur. Randy picks the lock and they enter, pressing themselves against the walls on either side of the door. 

They wait for what feels like forever and Randy knows something has gone wrong. The messenger had said that he was to count to twenty and then the king would open the door. It is well past twenty, by Randy’s extremely rough estimate, and he can’t help but feel alightly nervous. Rhiannon looks pissed. 

They hear a voice that is distinctly not the voice of the king. It’s high pitched and feminine and is met with even higher pitched giggles. The voices get louder. They’re heading straight for the room Randy and Rhiannon are in.

Randy looks at Rhiannon, slight panic on his face, and then she is picking him up by his lapels, pushing him up against a wall and kissing him. 

Well, “kiss” is a generous term. She’s really just pressing her mouth against his. The door opens and they break apart, turning toward the intruders. It is, of course, not the king, but another pair of royals that they had briefly spoken to earlier that evening. They’re swaying slightly, clearly drunk, and they both giggle when they see Rhiannon and Randy.

“Well, it looks like this room is occupied, dear,” one of them says, slinging her arm around the other woman’s waist. “Let’s check the next one.” They stumbled away, barely managing to close the door behind them. 

As soon as they’re gone, Rhiannon drops Randy and he’s clawing at his face, trying to get her lipstick and the feeling of her lips on his off. He looks up at her, disgusted and angry.

“What the hell was that?!” he asks. Rhiannon shrugs. 

“Necessity,” she says simply. “Come on, we can’t stay here any longer. The mission is a bust.” She crosses to the low window on the other side of the room and forces it open. She slides out and Randy hears her land with a soft “thump” on the lawn outside. 

He stares after her for a moment. He can still feel her lipstick on his face. Randy wipes his mouth on last time, rips his bowtie off and throws it on the floor, and then follows Rhiannon out the window.


	22. Outcast, but Never Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bethany: "You're never alone, I'm right here." With Eddie and Randy.

Randy takes a deep breath, staring up at the cloudy sky, willing them to disappear so he can catch just a glimpse of the sun to orient himself in these damned fields.

When Yashee had suggested they split up in the Discordant Fields in order to cover more ground faster, Randy and Raz’ul both thought it was a terrible idea. They had no idea what they were looking for or where they were going, but Yashee insisted. They would only look around for a few hours and then meet back at the edge of the field before dark. Randy had been keeping a close eye on the sky; he didn’t want to be out alone in these fields for any longer than he had to. 

Then the clouds had come rolling in, and thunder boomed in the distance, and Randy knew he was screwed. 

He takes another deep breath. His two options are either just to turn around and hope he’s going in the right direction, or stop here and wait out the storm. Neither sound great, but the way Randy sees it, only one has the possibility that he will get even more lost. He stomps down on some of the long grass around him, making a halfling-sized flattened patch for him to curl up on. He doesn’t have much of anything else to make a shelter, but laying down in the rain is much better than standing in it, that’s for sure.

Soon enough, the sky turns an even darker gray and a light drizzle begins to fall. It’s not a cold rain, which Randy is thankful for, but it is annoying. He rolls over onto his stomach, lays his head down on his hands, and lets his thoughts wander.

Randy wonders what Raz’ul and Yashee are doing right now. Did they get as confused as he did, once the clouds started coming in? Are they thinking about him, or each other? Did they make their ways back to the edge of the fields? Are they sitting there now, wondering if he’ll make it back to them? Or have they given up? Turned back toward Strumlotts, leaving him in the Discordant Fields to fend for himself? Will he make it through the night? Will he--

Randy’s thoughts are interrupted by a crack of thunder. He jumps a little and then rubs his head. Those last few questions hadn’t sounded like...him, they sounded more like--

“Hey, Randy.” Eddie’s voice is dripping with self-satisfied glee. Randy groans out loud and buries his face in his hands. 

“This is not what I need right now,” he thinks, and Eddie laughs.

“You have to be prepared for anything, Randy,” the wizard says. “I want you to be prepared.”

“I want you to shut up,” Randy retorts, and gets comfortable in the grass again. The rain is falling harder now and the wind is whipping around him. Thunder booms again, and Randy feels electricity in the air when lightning follows the sound. He takes off his jacket and puts it over his head. There are a few minutes where the only thing Randy hears is the rain tapping against the fabric. Then--

“Man, where ARE Raz’ul and Yashee?” Eddie asks. Randy refuses to answer. “You’d think by now they would be looking for you, or something. Or maybe they just...forgot about you.”

Randy squirms a little and before he can stop himself he’s thinking, “They wouldn’t do that,” and Eddie chuckles. 

“Wouldn’t they?” he says. “You’ve lied to them about so much, Randy. There’s so much you’re still hiding from them. There’s no way they trust you anymore.”

“Raz’ul lied about stuff, too,” Randy thinks. “We still trust him.”

“Do we?” Eddie shoots back, and Randy hates to admit it but he hesitates before he thinks, “Yes.” Randy can almost feel Eddie shake his spectral head.

“He abandoned his family,” Eddie says, “stole from them and then left and never looked back. Who’s to say he wouldn’t do the same to you?”

Randy puts his hands over his ears, as if that will block out the malicious voice in his head. He doesn’t want to believe Eddie, but everything he says makes sense. Yashee and Raz’ul don’t want to be with someone like him. And how could he ever believe that they would be there for him, after discovering what he knows now? Tears spring to his eyes as the rain beats down around him and on him, soaking him to the bone.

“I’m alone again,” he thinks. Eddie shushes him gently. 

“There, there,” the wizard says. “You’re not alone, I’m right here.”

As tears and rain mix on his face, Randy drifts off to sleep, Eddie a soothing presence in his mind.


	23. Warm Bodies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bethany: "Get out of my way!" Gareth and Zil

“Get out of my way!”

 

Before either Randy or Zil can react, Gareth pushes his way past them, stalking down the hall. He turns back to look at them with a sneer.

“You slowpokes better not stop me from getting to class on time again!” he says. “Otherwise...well, it won’t be pretty, I’ll tell you that!” He rounds a corner and disappears from their sight. Randy rolls his eyes.

“You alright, Zil?” he asks his zombie friend. Zil nods and then groans questioningly, raising their arm to point after Gareth. 

“Oh, right, you haven’t met Gareth yet, have you?” Randy says, continuing their leisurely walk down the hallway. “I guess that’s really the best way you could’ve met him. He’s in our year, in Tabitha’s band, and he sucks. We try our best to just avoid him.” Zil groans again; it almost sounds like he copies the way Randy said Gareth’s name. They reach the corner where Gareth turned and disappeared, and Zil stares down it for a moment before following Randy down the opposite way.

\---

A few days later Chaos Sauce and Zil are in the cafetorium. They’re making their way to an empty table when Zil’s head suddenly jerks forward and they stumble. The group hears a triumphant “Yes!” and turn to see Gareth, sitting at a nearby table and holding a slingshot that still has mashed potato residue on it. 

Zil reaches up with their one hand and scrapes off the glob of food that Gareth had launched at him. They stare at it for a moment, and then Zil turns and throws it back. 

It hits Gareth square in the middle of his forehead.

There’s a moment of silent disbelief, and then Randy whoops and Yashee and Raz’ul burst into laughter. Zil grins and groans. They wave at Gareth as Chaos Sauce continues on their way to an empty table. He’s scowling as Ilda tries to wipe off all of the mashed potato off his face. Zil follows their friends, with a little more pep in their step as they walk away.

\---

It takes another day or two of various run-ins with Gareth for Zil to find the opportunity and the courage to talk to Randy about him. They’re certain of their own feelings, but they aren’t totally sure if they’re interpreting Gareth’s rudeness correctly, but they know Randy will know. 

A few minutes of groans and crudely drawn portraits of Gareth later, Randy finally gets what Zil is trying to tell him, and a huge grin breaks out over his face. 

“Aw, buddy, a crush on Gareth!” he says. “You deserve better, you know that right?” Zil groans and shrugs. Randy waves his hand and says, “Don’t worry about it. If it’s Gareth you want, then it’s Gareth I’ll help you get.” He thinks for a moment, and then his grin gets even wider. 

“You know, Zil,” he says, “all of these little flirty pranks or whatever it is you two are doing clearly isn’t getting the message across.” He puts a hand on Zil’s shoulder. “You just gotta be honest with him. Get him alone and spill your feelings.” 

Zil shakes their head rapidly, fear clear in their large, fishy eyes. Randy takes their face in his hands to get them to stop and meets his gaze.

“Yes, Zil,” he says firmly. “Honestly is the best policy. You don’t have to do it today, or tomorrow, but you have to take the opportunity when it comes and talk to him. It’ll be fine, I promise.” Randy releases Zil’s head, and after a moment, the fish-person nods slowly. 

\---

Zil gets his chance to try and talk to Gareth one late afternoon. They’re wandering the halls while Randy is in class, and as they turn a corner they run right into Gareth. He makes a noise of disgust as he realizes who he hit.

“Why don’t you watch where you’re going, you stupid fish thing?!” Gareth says. Zil doesn’t move or say anything; all they can do is stare. They’re panicking, but they remember what Randy said and they take a deep breath. 

All Gareth hears for the next few minutes is groans of various lengths and pitches. They seem very earnest but nervous, their one hand twisting the edge of their tunic. Finally, they stop, and they’re looking at Gareth expectantly. He stares back for a moment, bewildered, but then his brow furrows and he sneers.

“Did Randy put you up to this...whatever this is?” he asks. Zil looks surprised but he nods. Gareth rolls his eyes. “Just like that little jerk to pull something like this! Make me listen to his weird fish friend so I’m late for class! He knows this is gonna get me in detention. Ugh! He’s gonna pay for this. Now, get out of my way!” 

Gareth shoves Zil to the side and stalks off. Zil stares after him for a moment and lets out a sad groan. They continue down the hallway, head bowed.


	24. Two Parts Sugar, One Part Salt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grace: "Would you just listen to me for two seconds?" Randy and Raz'ul

“Would you just listen to me for two seconds?” Raz’ul yells. He’s trying his best to avoid Randy’s hands but they’re flying around his head and arms too fast. It’s a good thing he got his daggers away from him; all he’ll have tomorrow is some nasty bruises instead of stab wounds. 

“No! You’re wrong!” Randy yells back. “I don’t have to listen to anything you say!” Raz’ul suddenly dives and goes for the halfling’s legs. They both fall to the ground, hard, and then they’re tussling again, each of them trying to get the upper hand. 

They’re clawing and punching each other, rolling on the ground, when suddenly they hear a tentative, “Uh, guys?” from above them. Randy and Raz’ul stop immediately and look toward the voice.

Yashee and Tabitha are standing in the doorway of the kitchen, staring down at the dwarf and halfling, on the floor and covered in flour. 

“Whatcha doin’?” Tabitha says finally. Randy and Raz’ul both start speaking over each other, their excuses unintelligible and then they’re yelling over each other and fighting again. Yashee walks over and carefully grabs each of her bandmates by the backs of their shirts, separating them and holding them at arm’s length away from each other. 

“Okay, one at a time,” she says. “Raz’ul, what happened?” The dwarf crosses his arms and pouts.

“Randy and I were gonna bake cupcakes,” he says, “but then SOMEONE stupidly thought that we need to add the wet ingredients to the dry, when OBVIOUSLY it’s the other way around!” 

“It is not!” Randy yells back, wiggling to try and free himself from Yashee’s grip. She adjusts her grasp so he’s tucked underneath her arm. “Raz’ul is wrong and I’m right, you HAVE to add the wet ingredients to the dry! That’s how I’ve always done it, and my cupcakes always taste amazing!” Raz’ul looks ready to yell again when Tabitha steps forward.

“I have a solution,” she says. “We’ll just make two batches of cupcakes, one Randy’s way and one Raz’ul’s way. They’ll be the exact same flavor and everything, and then we’ll take them to Symbol and have him do a blind taste test, and see which one is better. I’ll bake with Raz’ul, Yashee, you can bake with Randy. Deal?” Randy and Raz’ul grumble their assent, and Yashee gently puts Raz’ul down next to her girlfriend. 

“C’mon, Randy, we’ll go to the other kitchen to bake ours!” Yashee says, and walks out with her bandmate still under her arm.

\---

It’s just over an hour later, and the two baking teams are standing in Symbol’s office. They place their cupcakes in front of him while his back is turned, mix up the plates a few times, and then they’re ready for his taste test. 

Symbol spins his chair around to face the group. He picks up a cupcake, sniffs it, and then gently takes a piece and puts it in his mouth. He chews and swallows, all while keeping a neutral expression on his face. He does the same with a cupcake from the other plate. The two teams hold their breath. Symbol places his elbows on his desk and steeples his fingers in front of his face. He stares at the four students for a moment, and then takes a deep breath.

“They taste...the same,” he says, and sits back in his chair, spreading his hands out. The two teams are shocked. Randy and Raz’ul glance at each other, and then back at Symbol. Then they dive for the two plates, shoving a cupcake from each batch in their mouths. 

“Well, damn,” Randy says with his mouth full, “they do taste the same.”

“Yeah,” Raz’ul says. “Your cupcakes are really good man.” He reaches for another one as Randy nods and reaches for one of Raz’ul’s.

“So are yours! Yashee, Tabitha, get in on this!” The two girls laugh and grab a few cupcakes, and the four all erupt in excited chatter about other things they can bake together and recipes they can exchange. They’re talking too loudly to hear Symbol’s pleas for them to get out of his office, so he finally shrugs and grabs another cupcake, sneaking a few into a napkin to bring to Mitch. No use in letting them go to waste.


	25. Empty Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alice: "I'll never forget you." with Randy and Eddie

Randy comes to slowly. He is first aware of the murmurs of a few different people around him, and then distinct, familiar voices become apparent--Yashee and Raz’ul, Symbol and Mitch. He opens his eyes. 

Standing above him is someone he doesn’t immediately recognize. Huge glasses cover half of their face and the glare of the bright white light above them reflects off of the lenses, hiding their eyes. They smile in what Randy thinks is supposed to be a comforting way, but their jagged teeth makes the image creepy. 

“Randy,” they say, their voice warm despite the slight gravelly edge, as though they had been screaming for hours before speaking. “It’s so good to see you awake. How do you feel?” 

The halfling lays there for a moment, taking stock of his body. Everything feels pretty normal. He still has both legs and arms, and all of his fingers and toes. He tries to sit up but a flash of pain hits him in his stomach, and he falls back with a groan. The strange figure puts a hand on his shoulder.

“There, there, now, should’ve told you not to move too much,” they say with a chuckle. “You did just have surgery, after all.” 

The memories come flooding back to Randy and he almost jolts upright again. The strange person is Doctor the Patient; Chaos Sauce had finally gotten word of where they were residing and rushed to see if they could help Randy. They suggested surgery to remove the gem, and therefore Eddie, from his stomach, and now Randy is here, on a medical bed, post-op and in pain. He takes a deep breath. 

“Did...did it work?” he asks. The doctor chuckles again, reaches over behind Randy’s head and slowly brings the gem into view. 

Randy almost expects to hear the call from it again, expects to hear Eddie’s voice from within it, telling him to consume it, absorb it, become more powerful than he could ever imagine. But it’s silent. Randy is almost sad. But then the doctor clears their throat and looks almost uncomfortable.

“It, ah...he wanted to speak to you, one last time,” Doctor the Patient says. The gem twitches slightly and in its facets Randy can make out the smoky form of Eddie Izzard the (former) Gizzard Wizard. 

“I don’t really have a lot of time,” Eddie says. “Can’t really do stuff like... this for too long without a host. But I just wanted to...um...well. We had fun, didn’t we Randy?” Randy blinks. He thinks he can see Eddie’s normal manic grin falter for just a moment. “I mean, sure, we’ve had some rough times, made some...morally gray decisions. But it wasn’t all bad. You don’t...will you…” Eddie stops, his face dissipating for a split second before reforming. He looks weak, faded, and heart-broken. Randy gently touches the gem, right by Eddie’s cheek, and nods.

“I’ll never forget you,” Randy says. Eddie smiles and the light hits the gem in such a way that it almost looks like a tear falls from the wizard’s eye. Then the smoke inside the jewel twists and is gone, leaving it as empty and hollow as Randy feels.


	26. Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fungus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mana: “Things you said with too many miles between us,” Tabishee
> 
> Title from Blame It On Me by the Barenaked Ladies

You’ve been gone for too many days to count. Well, more accurately, you’ve given up on counting. You have to keep your mind focused on other, more important things--surviving, finding food, finding...whatever it is that you’re supposed to be looking for. Randy and Raz’ul aren’t as used to long treks like this as you are, and it’s wearing on all of you. You’ve just gotten over a long stretch of time (too many sunrises and sunsets between to know just how long) where the three of you didn’t speak at all to each other. It was the worst kind of torture you’ve ever known.

You have trouble sleeping. Though you’re fairly certain you haven’t been followed, you’re still too paranoid to rest peacefully, so you keep watch. You sit outside of your tent, listening to Randy’s soft snores and Raz’ul mumbling in his sleep.

It feels selfish to want to wake one of them up just so you have someone to talk to. The days-long silence between you three has only just recently been broken and everything still feels fragile. Disturbing their rest will probably set you all back, and that’s the last thing you want. So you sit, and listen, and think.

You think about your bandmates. You think about the strength and tenacity they’ve shown thus far, how much you love them and how you’d willingly die to protect them. You think about Splash, back at Strumlotts. You think about the school itself, about your classes and Alola and…

Before you even realize what you’re doing you’re taking your Ira Glass out of your bag, but you don’t even dare to whisper her name. You stare into the glass cylinder, dull in the dark of night. After a pause, to make sure Randy and Raz’ul are still sleeping, you begin to quietly speak; the Ira Glass doesn’t make a sound, but you imagine she’s there, on the other end, listening.

You tell her about your journey so far--the trek through the Discordant Fields, the strange trees, the maps you found and the blueprints that Randy keeps tucked away in his bag. You describe the monsters that found you near the edge of the field, their terrible teeth and the way their claws dragged across your chest. You gently touch your shirt, feeling the way your skin is slightly raised from the scars.

You tell her how close you were to dying. Everything felt so far away. The only thing you were aware of was the pain, but even that faded after a few moments. And as you drifted, the only thoughts in your mind were of those you loved the most--your parents, Randy, Raz’ul, and her.

Tears well up in your eyes. You drag a hand across your face and put the Ira Glass away, and settle back against your tent with a sigh. You’re more aware than ever of the miles that stretch between the two of you.  
\---  
It is just a few sunrises later and Chaos Sauce isn’t speaking to each other again. The three of you had stumbled upon a river filled with fish of all different shapes and sizes and had gorged yourselves before you skinned and dried a few to take with you on the rest of your journey. With your bellies full and your clothes and hair clean from the fresh water, you were all in great spirits, laughing and joking like you were back at school, splashing each other and seeing who could hold their breath the longest. Eventually, you had to move on, but with backpacks and waterskins full, you felt prepared to deal with anything.

You manage to sleep that night for a few hours, but you are woken up by a strange sound just outside of your tent. Immediately, you are up and alert, with one of your hammer mallets in your hand. You shift into a crouch. Your muscles are tense but your breathing is steady and even, and you have a laser focus on the sounds outside and the shadow you can now see through the fabric of your tent.

With a roar, you leap out, mallet raised and ready to strike, but you stop when you see that the shadow is just Randy. He’s curled around a bag--your bag, you realize with a start--and in his hand is a bunch of the dried fish rations. Raz’ul stumbles out of his tent blearily, woken up by your warrior yell. It takes him a moment to focus on the scene before him, but when he does, he’s wide awake and angry. Randy ate not only the rest of his own rations, but most of yours and he had even managed to steal some of Raz’ul’s. The three of you spend the rest of the night arguing. By the time the sun rises, a sullen and tense silence has fallen over the three of you.

You continue your trek.

Once again, you find it difficult to sleep, and it’s even more difficult to convince Randy it’s not because of him. The silence between you two stretches on a little longer.

You make yourself as comfortable as you can on a mossy stump, twirling a mallet between your fingers and casting Prestidigitation to make sparks fly around it. This doesn’t keep you entertained for nearly as long as you hoped it would. Eventually your focus drifts up, and up, past the trees and to the constellations above you.

You’re tracing the patterns with your finger, mumbling their names to yourself, when you realize that your other hand has gotten a hold of your Ira Glass again, and it’s sitting in your palm. Its silence feels like a mockery, a reminder that your two closest friends refuse to speak to you and you can’t bring yourself to really speak to her.

Like the other night, you don’t say her name, but talk to her regardless. You tell her about the fish. You tell her how happy you were that your band was working together again. You tell her the only thing that could have made that moment better was if she was there with you. You tell her you miss her, you tell her you love her, you tell her you need to see her soon or--

You muffle a sob and don’t finish that last thought. Your Ira Glass gets put back into your bag, and you settle down on the stump once more.

The stars go ignored for the rest of the night.  
\---  
When you return to school, you discover that you have been gone for two months and twenty-nine days. You are exhausted, and dirty, and your chest hurts, and despite returning with your prize, you are disappointed. Before your trip, you were convinced that Chaos Sauce was capable of anything and everything. All it took was one extended road trip to almost break you apart.

On your way back to your dorm, you turn a corner and almost run into her. You’re even more aware of how terrible you smell and how matted your hair is. She looks as perfect as ever, and when she realizes it’s really you standing in front of her, she grins. Her eyes sparkle like the stars with tears of joy. She flings her arms around you. You barely manage to squeeze her back.

She asks you how you feel. She asks how your trip was. She asks if you’ve seen a cleric yet for those cuts on your arms and face. Her brow furrows. She asks if you’re okay, and you realize you haven’t answered any of her questions out loud; you’ve just been staring at her, taking in her huge sweater and her wide eyes and that one curly strand of hair that she tugs on when she’s anxious. It’s twisted around her finger now as she stares at you, waiting for an answer.

You think of all the conversations you had with your dark Ira Glass, pretending she was listening. She’s listening now. All you have to do is open your mouth and let the truth free.

Instead, you smile softly and nod. You’re fine, you say, just tired. And then you gently pat her shoulder, tell her you’ll see her later, and continue walking toward your dorm.

Your chest aches more with every step. You think it’s your scars, but as you get farther and farther away from her, you realize it’s your heart. You reach your bedroom just as the tears begin to fall and collapse on your bed, content to stay there for the rest of your life if it will make the pain go away.

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: @fully-realized-creation
> 
> Twitter: @schwartzie7
> 
> I love you.


End file.
